Sarah Cruse Art Love Word

My First Butterfly! And more Elee's with magical Witch Hazel.

2010-05-12T22:17:00.000-07:00

My Latest Portrait Commission.

2010-04-17T22:40:00.000-07:00

Let's Try Something New.

2010-03-29T13:00:00.000-07:00

So as much as I love to write it is just too much for me to keep up with organizing all the sparkling, clever ideas I would want to share with you all:)
So I will be primarily using this space to post new work and maybe some works in progress as well.
Because that is ultimately what I want to be sharing with you anyway.
These are some of my latest, Enjoy!

Your Not 29 Anymore, Baby. And Guess What Your Also, No Longer 30.

2009-03-31T11:43:00.000-07:00

Yes, Inner Voice, I know. You don't have to rub it in.....
The last week or 2 has been something likened to the finals week of my college days of yore.
And although this is not so unusual; most last or first weeks of the month are a bit of a crunch, as I wrap up my monthly exhibition preparations and get it hung.
But this most recent spat of show prep was especially strenuous. There have been all sorts of events and coffee dates with old friends that I didn't want to postpone or miss.
And I just picked up that lovely little job as well.
So I have been literally spending almost entire days running every time I need to get from point A to point B, even just inside my house.
And succeeding at accomplishing 10 tasks at once to only later realize I have no idea if I tended to this or that, or least have no recollection of it.
Plus, early on Saturday morning my girlfriends and I found ourselves face to face with 408 stairs leading up the side of a hill, beyond our scope of vision, through sweet patches of evergreens and groupings of lovely homes. Of course we had to I skip to the top and then wobble down.
Sunday morning I was bounding up and down a ladder, 15 feet up with 10 pound paintings, stretching and twisting and balancing for my life, for the better part of 2 hours, to get the art up .
Then there was that screw driver that slipped and plunged a hole into my thumb with the force of caffeine and anxiety as I frantically affixed hanging wire to the backs of my new paintings.
Barely felt that. But it looks like it would've REALLY hurt with out all that adrenaline thrown into the mix..
It's Tuesday and I am STILL Exhausted, capital E for "Erg".
I have had about 2 days to recover from all that and I feel like I took a yoga class after not having moved a muscle for a whole year.
A lot of the average age alerts that my peers may feel a bit lately have yet to catch up with me.
I can, don't throw things at me, pretty much eat whatever I want and not notice a change in my waist line.
My skin hasn't been too damaged by the sun (because it does soooo well to "moisturize" itself with some less than glamorous side affects, now we're even about that waistline thing.)
I don't smoke or drink all that much.
I'm just kind of a baby face, in truth, don't love that either. I am often mistaken for, by other adults and also treated as if I were fresh out of the nest.
It's been easy for me to ignore that I'm not getting any younger. At times I even have to remind myself and convince others too that I am pretty capable and self sufficient. All grown up in the big city and managing like Mary, Mary Tyler Moore, that is.
But not today. Today I'm understanding the meaning of crotchety.
Me and my old, sweet, mean, grumpy cat are a couple of peas in this wilted, boiled, pod.
Let me see if I can creak around the house a bit to catch up on that cleaning I neglected while I was so preoccupied.
My house sure looks like a bunch of kids have taken over, or at least a couple of frat boys.
In fact, maybe they did, I wouldn't have even noticed.
Wish me luck!

Whipping Me Into Shape

2009-03-19T20:52:00.000-07:00

So I have this Friend, capital F for Fantastic, she's an amazing painter (http://elihalpin.com) AND business person.
She saw my last post on here and promptly called me to find out "what the hell is going on with you".
This made me feel so loved, especially since she's seems to be pretty convinced that this situation I'm in should not be happening, with the quality of art I make,

THANK YOU!!!!!!...!!!!!!....!...........!......

That's what I was thinking!
And is giving me a little bit of Art Business Sense boot camp.
6 months ago I woulda been all prideful, like "no! I'm gonna do this my way!" now I'm like "Yes, yell at me, tell me how to fix this mess, the meaner the better, no no no don't be nice, that gets me nowhere!"
I've got nothing to lose here, at this point.
She's so good at blunt love. It's pretty awesome.
One of my first assignments has been to clean up my website, organize, refresh, clarify....
So, that's what I've been working on.
I used to have all my different genres of paintings in separate categories on the site, sold and available, together in their "theme" folders.
But I took ALL my sold work no matter what the subject matter and dumped it into all one folder.
The result totally bumped my confidence!
To see ALL the paintings I've sold in the past year, together in their own exclusive section, a block full of thumbnail gems.
There are a lot more sold paintings than available paintings on my site, 40 to be exact!
To see that, to take inventory of my sales that way, in a group of images, to see that I sold 40 paintings this past year, felt awesome!
Thanks, Coach!!
Muah!

sarahcruse.com

DUDES!, I was TOTALLY freaking out....

2009-03-14T22:00:00.000-07:00

....all week!!
My show sales have gone way down the last 2 months and I just can't seem to get the Etsy ball rolling fast enough!
For the first time in 6 years after just celebrating my one year anniversary as a full time artist, I have had to go out and job search.
I literally sat and cried while I wrote my resume this past week.
It's been a rough realization, no matter how much I believe in myself,
$100 a month income does not cut it.
But I was freaking out before too as I saw the low sales trend gaining it's momentum I was working OBSESSIVELY to make something happen with very little results. And, man, was I getting bitter.
I was grinding my teeth at night and suddenly noticed bruises from where I'd been digging my fingernails into my palms, for no reason.
STRESSED.
I was online all the time and, on Etsy, Twitter, blogging, reading other peoples blogs, checking my email like my life depended on it, cause, well my rent kinda does.

Anyway, the good news is I think I got a small part time job that makes pretty good money!!!!
And after the initial heartbreak of feeling like I have let down my Art dreams, I now realize I am doing what I have to do while I continue to build my art career through these crazy times in our changing economy and I am actually really excited.
I am excited to take the pressure off my creativity and excited to be able to relax knowing I've done my best each day and these things take time and most of all the reason I'm telling you all of this is because I am excited that when I have some extra money, finally, soon!!!! I'm gonna spend it on Etsy!!
There are soooo many gorgeous things on here that I have not even been able to consider....
Last night I couldn't get to sleep, again, but instead of it being because I was WORRIED it's because I was so excited, thinking of all the great changes that will come with being able to pay my bills.

The End.

How was your week?

Honesty About The Current State of Things

2009-03-12T22:56:00.001-07:00

2 weird wishes and 1 big warm YAY!

1. I wish I could punch my credit card company in the face.
If my credit card company were a person, I would have punched them in the face today.
That would be a first for me, and I don't usually condone violence, at all, but man o man are they thieves and scum.
I'll answer that, yes, they are.
I won't bother you with details, I'm sure many of you can relate.
But if your having trouble relating to this, look at it like how you might punch a mugger in the face to stop them from stealing your handbag or to stop them from stealing your soul. . (who uses the word handbag? I guess I do).

2. I wish I had a gross sandwich.
My Dad has made me these kinda gross sandwiches, since I was a kid that I love, I LOVE them, and I really wish my Dad were here to make me one now. It would feed the nutrients back into my soul that that got sucked out by the vampire credit card company.
But he would have to be here and be the one to make it for me, or else, it doesn't work.
I think his love is the key ingredient.
Oscar Meyer bologna (plasticy) on white hamburger bun (bleached flour, please), iceberg lettuce, mayo, mustard, craft single (rubbery), and potato chips. Ya, that's right, on there, not next to it, on.
what.
I love it.

and now for the YAY!
I am in love with, overjoyed about in-joy, enjoyed, I'm making a new way to use that word, I am ENJOYED about my new painting!
I have not painted BIG for several months, and that is my favorite way to paint!
I have been painting tiny little works of art to preserve paint and make small affordable paintings. It's been fun and I'll keep making them.
But I started a new painting to add to my Spirit Creature series and it is turning out so great!
I'm pretty sure that I don't paint these Spirit Creatures alone, if you know what I mean.
Their Turtles, Spirit Turtles, and I'll post 'em for you when they're ready for their debut.

Here is another piece from my Spirit Creature Series:

And here's a bologna sandwich, just for fun:

i just thought, I'd let you know.
peace out! (but not if your my credit card company, if your my credit card company, you can f off.)

2009-02-11T11:32:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I think that If My Website is a big cold lonely Museum-like Mansion, then Etsy is this bustling Happy Village full of magical creatures.
The Museum Mansion is not a bad place, it just depends on what environment your into for the day, right?

One of the Most Inspiring Moments of My Week.

2009-02-09T23:25:00.000-08:00

So the other day I'm standing in line at the post office with one package to mail from an Etsy sale.
And about 4 people ahead of me is this crazy lookin' kid with a trucker hat and big glasses, some hoodie, purple skinny jeans and puffy high top basketball shoes that he had painted neon stripes on.
I was totally checking him out, not like THAT, just diggin' his funny little style and wondering about his day; where he was going what he was mailing.....and then I noticed what he was mailing.
He had a stack of about 15 flat packages.
I got a little happy buzz inside my head and I was like, "That guy is mailing prints of art that he sold on Etsy or Art Fire or something and I bet he's here every other day and can barely keep up with this sales or shipping".
And I was so fond of those neat little packages and I thought, "That's gonna be me.".
Right in that moment I was pretty clear on that.
I'm gonna be that guy.
One of these days I'm gonna be the girl, standing in line at the post office, every other day with a lovely little stack of lovely little paintings all off to their new homes.
The Belle of the Post Office Line Ball.
Yep, That's gonna be me, and I can's wait!

My Lovely Little Stack of Paintings, waiting to be bought, so I can stand in line with them at the post office.

More Birthday Sweetness!

2009-01-29T11:42:00.000-08:00

This is part of an email I just got from my baby sister and it tickled me so that I had to share it here:)

"I wish I was there today to tell you face to face how much I love you and how proud of you I am!! I'd give you a ginormous huge flat iron for your hair (cuz we always do hehe) and take you for a piece of ridiculously expensive and delicious cake at the fancy pants cake place. :)"

She has a thing for high quality flat irons and I have pretty NOT flat hair, so she loves to get at me with that thing:)
And the cake she is referencing, if your in Portland, is Papa Hydens.
It's an amazing cake experience, you must go there.
And do wear your Fancy Pants, for sure:)

Another one of our Flat Iron Days.
I love that girl!

Happy Birthday To MEEEEE!

2009-01-29T11:16:00.000-08:00

It's my Birthday. I'm a 31 year old Aquarius, with a Libra moon, a Cancer rising and a throat so swollen I wont be talking to any one who calls to wish me a "Happy Day".
But it's alright, I am still very happy.
I'm spending the day catching up on Etsy updates and being spoiled by my Boyfriend.
If I do ever leave the house today it will be to get a Birthday Hot Toddy.....hmmmmm.
Yesterday I received 2 sweet and unexpected little gifts in the mail, both of which made me smile brightly through the fog of this flu, I felt so loved.
The first was from my Papa. He wanted to pick something out for me but I told him gift certificates would be more helpful, I need a new saw and a sander to build my painting frames.
SO, in order to feel like he was sending more than just a piece of plastic, he sent me some little boxes full of some of my sweet Grandma's jewelry! All the way from Wisconsin.
It was pretty darn cute to open those up and wonder first, what had gotten into him and then to realize what it was, I was so warmed by remembering her (gone for 10 years now) and the hours I used to spend digging through her jewelry box.
I LOVE it that my Father sent me boxes of Grandma lady baubles for my Birthday:) He's pretty rad.

The next was a big envelope with pink strawberry bunny rabbit tape, sent all the way from Baltimore by my dear, dear friend Eli Halpin, she's kinda famous and if you haven't seen her art, you need to....

elihalpin.com

It was full of tights and gloves (both pretty things that make me happy) and I was very touched that she thought of me.

Can't wait to see what the post man brings today!

Wrecked Wrists

2009-01-28T13:28:00.000-08:00

Where o where o where have i been? ...you ask?
Lucky for you I am sick as a dog today and so therefore forced to sit at home staring at the computer during prime painting hours.
If I had a TV to watch it would be even easier to ignore, but since there is no such thing in my house and I entertain myself by downloading episodes of The Office for hours, it began to creep up on me that there is no excuse.
So I'm a little jacked up right now, I drank one cup of green tea just to avoid a caffeine headache, since really I should be trying to sleep.
And instead of using this precious and limited buzz to read, which I couldn't even do last night or earlier today (everything hurts soooo bad!) I'm using it to get my blog on.
I know I sound so reluctant... it's not that I don't love this or that I resent it... I was scared again, honestly.
But not for the same reason I was scared the first time.
This time I was scared because in December when I went on my interweb networking frenzy, spending hours and hours on the Etsy Forums, Twittering, website updating, blogging, researching marketing and having an all out high school reunion on Facebook, I kinda accidentally "work horse" ground my wrists to dust.
I was so sad when I realized I had asked, pleaded, begged my wrist pain to come back, what did I think was gonna happen?
A few of my family members who also love to work with their hands have been through more than one carpal tunnel surgery each.
And As I have heard that it can be hereditary and I don't have insurance (even wondering now if I'm blowing it for myself by posting this.... you know that pesky little "preexisting condition" regulation), I was a little freaked out.
I have, in the past had some pain and numbness in my hands and wrists, and healed myself with herbs and vitamins, acupuncture, dietary adjustments and exercises but my sudden computer over use brought it all back and it was ferocious.
So I had to choose between the Internet and the paintbrush.
I have to say choosing the paintbrush was really the only sensible option (and I was actually pretty happy about the reprioritizing), because if I can't paint, why am even doing any of this at all?!
If I cant paint, I need to be hitting the pavement with an armload of resumes and that is just not happening.
So I made a lot of really cute little paintings (more on those later, promise) these last several weeks and have a lot of really cute little shows coming up to put them in.
I have been swallowing down handfuls of vitamins and trying Trying trying to keep enough food in my stomach so that I don't puke them up a little, gross I know , sorry.
It takes a LOT of B vitamins to get the feeling back in your hands and you all probably know what that tastes like, echk.
Anyway, I am happy to say that I haven't had any weird numbness or weakness or pain or frozen tingling in like a week and am continuing to take good respectful care of my hands and writs.
It is a f***ing (sorry, Dad, if your reading this but it is) scary thing to know that you may be losing the use of your hands, especially when you LOVE to use them to paint which is also your income, AND thousands of dollars in surgery is what "they" all say is THE option.
So I feel a little like e a super hero, even though I am bedridden for the day, I outsmarted the Surgery Monster for the time being.
AND learned my lesson about computer time limits.
So tell me, I would love to know, do any other of you working, striving, (I said STRIVING, not starving) thriving artists have to regularly make the choice between the computer and the paintbrush for the sake of your wrists?
Just wonderin'.

Most of these are twice a day! It's no joke.

Ode To Christian Louboutin

2009-01-08T14:04:00.000-08:00

I usually like to paint the edges of my paintings black.
I don't often frame them, sometimes they are on wood, sometimes canvas.
I have painted the edges black for years as a way to give them a more finished look. I think it's pretty standard.
At times I would consider another color, maybe something to accent a small part of the painting but anything I did just seemed a little garish.
And then one day, quite a while ago, actually, I saw something like these.....

I am not really a heels girl or even that much of a shoe obsessed girl, I love fashion but I kinda have my own little thing going. And I can't imagine the energy it must take to keep up, unless of course it comes naturally and effortlessly, we all have our niche.
But I thought that these shoes were sublime.
It's not the main event that I love, its the wonderful solution to the problem of the unfinished edge, the necessary but unsightly, underbelly of every gorgeous shoe that THIS designer, who I know nothing about but the name, has found!
AS not that much of a fashionista, I DO see here where fine art and fashion are blending symphoniously.
Brilliant, enticing, peepshow red on the soles of the shoes, now it is a complete and shameless package.
At some point in time I started painting the edges of certain little paintings red, it just seemed randomly appropriate here and there, only for certain paintings, they cant all swing it.
But here are some that do...

It didn't seem garish anymore and I really can't clearly remember what came first in my little sphere, the chicken or the edge;)
But it was a huge, fun step out of the box for me and my dogged attachment to what I had always been doing, just cause I can get like that and kill a good idea.
Maybe because I'm a paint-splattered jeans, painter girl and not a high fashion girl, although, I think she's in there somewhere if I were just a little more consistently bold (or wealthy) I might encounter her more often...... but this gives me that same little thrill; anyway I just Love that I think of these little pieces as The Christian Louboutins of my wonderful, addictive habit of painting.

Just thought I'd let you know...

This is Scary but I Like It.

2009-01-04T20:23:00.001-08:00

It's been well over a week since I proudly launched my lovely little blog into the world and since then I've been circling round her wondering what I got myself into.
I've been a writer longer than I've been a painter, but I am well seasoned at sharing my visual work with the world and even a little spoiled by the supportive response.
Usually, I'm pretty good at only writing for my self, no one sees it, it's all tucked away, very tight, safely hidden. along with my daydreams of how cool it would be to have a published novel, so this is really very good practice for exposing my self through word.
And so even though I know, really only a handful of people will see this at first and most of them already know me, anyway, it's the strangest thing, it feels so terrifying, I might as well be walking out into the street completely naked.
I finally decided that the way to break my ice was to just say it.....
This blog thing scares me!
Yep.
So with that out of the way, I'm just going to dive in and take a frigid swim,
maybe i'll get warmed up, if I keep moving....and avoid sharks....

Its a wonderful new year!
I feel like I have just greeted the dawn after a long fitful sleep full of blissful dreams and bizarre nightmares, often on the same topics, sometimes all mingled together at once.
I don't usually even feel so much of a "changing of the guards" on January 1st but this year I did,
2008 was really a very monumental year on many levels.
There were some deeply transitional experiences, some pleasant, some really not so......really, really....... but all, I am grateful for and better for.

Some of my favorites are my 30th birthday, the thrilling election of Barack Obama (squeal!:),
and my branching out into being a full time artist, in April, (it's going pretty good, thanks!).
September brought me into my 9th year living in Portland, OR and 2000 miles from my family.
This was just going to be a trial run..."Don't worry, Mom, I'll just try it out for a few months and then I'll probably want to come home."
The realization that I have been here that long has saddened me astounded me and settled me all at once.
My mother has stopped asking me when I might have children because she knows that it would only break her heart to be so far from them, now convinced that nothing, at this point, would pull me back to Indiana.
And I have stopped feeling homesick and started feeling AT home.
I love this town!!!!! I truly, truly, do and I think I will stay.
I actually called my Mom up sometime last summer and said,
"Well, I think I've decided to stay.", and we laughed.
But it actually was just that recently that I very consciously decided that and deep down there is some sadness.
My whole awesome family is probably always going to be out there, and I will not.

Just before Christmas my Sweetie and I celebrated our first date, 5 years ago, in a snow storm.
Five years since that last big, Big snow we had out here, in Portland,
When we walked through the snowy graveyard, in the dark, with a bottle of red wine and have been together ever since.

I also have to say that one of the experiences I have had that was not so fun was just the gigantic changes in our worlds economy.
I have had to wrestle away, worst case scenario fears of living in my van and replace them with visions of sharing garden space with my neighbors.
It has just been a strange time of change and although I feel ultimately that it is long overdue, for us all to be, albeit painfully, reprioritizing a little....or a lot.
I am grateful for the opportunity to recognize the importance that we employ appreciation for our local economies rather than our local, bargain warehouse, trillion dollar, sweatshop franchise.

I do feel a bloom of hope where there was a lump of worry, come mid October.
So sometime between Christmas and New Years I really started to see a shift for myself, I feel quite literally renewed and truly at peace, happy, for the first time in several months.
I told my studiomate (drenchedinwhite.etsy.com) "It feels like all the rugs that got pulled out from under me ..."
and she chirped "were just in the wash?!"
"Yes!, they were just in the wash!! And now they are back, clean and fluffy and still warm from the dryer."
Those are just a few of the happenings of my life that have felt huge in my heart.
The rest will maybe in my novel.

stay tuned.....:)