Your Not 29 Anymore, Baby. And Guess What Your Also, No Longer 30.

Yes, Inner Voice, I know. You don't have to rub it in.....
The last week or 2 has been something likened to the finals week of my college days of yore.
And although this is not so unusual; most last or first weeks of the month are a bit of a crunch, as I wrap up my monthly exhibition preparations and get it hung.
But this most recent spat of show prep was especially strenuous. There have been all sorts of events and coffee dates with old friends that I didn't want to postpone or miss.
And I just picked up that lovely little job as well.
So I have been literally spending almost entire days running every time I need to get from point A to point B, even just inside my house.
And succeeding at accomplishing 10 tasks at once to only later realize I have no idea if I tended to this or that, or least have no recollection of it.
Plus, early on Saturday morning my girlfriends and I found ourselves face to face with 408 stairs leading up the side of a hill, beyond our scope of vision, through sweet patches of evergreens and groupings of lovely homes. Of course we had to I skip to the top and then wobble down.
Sunday morning I was bounding up and down a ladder, 15 feet up with 10 pound paintings, stretching and twisting and balancing for my life, for the better part of 2 hours, to get the art up .
Then there was that screw driver that slipped and plunged a hole into my thumb with the force of caffeine and anxiety as I frantically affixed hanging wire to the backs of my new paintings.
Barely felt that. But it looks like it would've REALLY hurt with out all that adrenaline thrown into the mix..
It's Tuesday and I am STILL Exhausted, capital E for "Erg".
I have had about 2 days to recover from all that and I feel like I took a yoga class after not having moved a muscle for a whole year.
A lot of the average age alerts that my peers may feel a bit lately have yet to catch up with me.
I can, don't throw things at me, pretty much eat whatever I want and not notice a change in my waist line.
My skin hasn't been too damaged by the sun (because it does soooo well to "moisturize" itself with some less than glamorous side affects, now we're even about that waistline thing.)
I don't smoke or drink all that much.
I'm just kind of a baby face, in truth, don't love that either. I am often mistaken for, by other adults and also treated as if I were fresh out of the nest.
It's been easy for me to ignore that I'm not getting any younger. At times I even have to remind myself and convince others too that I am pretty capable and self sufficient. All grown up in the big city and managing like Mary, Mary Tyler Moore, that is.
But not today. Today I'm understanding the meaning of crotchety.
Me and my old, sweet, mean, grumpy cat are a couple of peas in this wilted, boiled, pod.
Let me see if I can creak around the house a bit to catch up on that cleaning I neglected while I was so preoccupied.
My house sure looks like a bunch of kids have taken over, or at least a couple of frat boys.
In fact, maybe they did, I wouldn't have even noticed.
Wish me luck!

Whipping Me Into Shape

So I have this Friend, capital F for Fantastic, she's an amazing painter (http://elihalpin.com) AND business person.
She saw my last post on here and promptly called me to find out "what the hell is going on with you".
This made me feel so loved, especially since she's seems to be pretty convinced that this situation I'm in should not be happening, with the quality of art I make,

THANK YOU!!!!!!...!!!!!!....!...........!......

That's what I was thinking!
And is giving me a little bit of Art Business Sense boot camp.
6 months ago I woulda been all prideful, like "no! I'm gonna do this my way!" now I'm like "Yes, yell at me, tell me how to fix this mess, the meaner the better, no no no don't be nice, that gets me nowhere!"
I've got nothing to lose here, at this point.
She's so good at blunt love. It's pretty awesome.
One of my first assignments has been to clean up my website, organize, refresh, clarify....
So, that's what I've been working on.
I used to have all my different genres of paintings in separate categories on the site, sold and available, together in their "theme" folders.
But I took ALL my sold work no matter what the subject matter and dumped it into all one folder.
The result totally bumped my confidence!
To see ALL the paintings I've sold in the past year, together in their own exclusive section, a block full of thumbnail gems.
There are a lot more sold paintings than available paintings on my site, 40 to be exact!
To see that, to take inventory of my sales that way, in a group of images, to see that I sold 40 paintings this past year, felt awesome!
Thanks, Coach!!
Muah!



sarahcruse.com

DUDES!, I was TOTALLY freaking out....

....all week!!
My show sales have gone way down the last 2 months and I just can't seem to get the Etsy ball rolling fast enough!
For the first time in 6 years after just celebrating my one year anniversary as a full time artist, I have had to go out and job search.
I literally sat and cried while I wrote my resume this past week.
It's been a rough realization, no matter how much I believe in myself,
$100 a month income does not cut it.
But I was freaking out before too as I saw the low sales trend gaining it's momentum I was working OBSESSIVELY to make something happen with very little results. And, man, was I getting bitter.
I was grinding my teeth at night and suddenly noticed bruises from where I'd been digging my fingernails into my palms, for no reason.
STRESSED.
I was online all the time and, on Etsy, Twitter, blogging, reading other peoples blogs, checking my email like my life depended on it, cause, well my rent kinda does.

Anyway, the good news is I think I got a small part time job that makes pretty good money!!!!
And after the initial heartbreak of feeling like I have let down my Art dreams, I now realize I am doing what I have to do while I continue to build my art career through these crazy times in our changing economy and I am actually really excited.
I am excited to take the pressure off my creativity and excited to be able to relax knowing I've done my best each day and these things take time and most of all the reason I'm telling you all of this is because I am excited that when I have some extra money, finally, soon!!!! I'm gonna spend it on Etsy!!
There are soooo many gorgeous things on here that I have not even been able to consider....
Last night I couldn't get to sleep, again, but instead of it being because I was WORRIED it's because I was so excited, thinking of all the great changes that will come with being able to pay my bills.

The End.

How was your week?

Honesty About The Current State of Things

2 weird wishes and 1 big warm YAY!

1. I wish I could punch my credit card company in the face.
If my credit card company were a person, I would have punched them in the face today.
That would be a first for me, and I don't usually condone violence, at all, but man o man are they thieves and scum.
I'll answer that, yes, they are.
I won't bother you with details, I'm sure many of you can relate.
But if your having trouble relating to this, look at it like how you might punch a mugger in the face to stop them from stealing your handbag or to stop them from stealing your soul. . (who uses the word handbag? I guess I do).

2. I wish I had a gross sandwich.
My Dad has made me these kinda gross sandwiches, since I was a kid that I love, I LOVE them, and I really wish my Dad were here to make me one now. It would feed the nutrients back into my soul that that got sucked out by the vampire credit card company.
But he would have to be here and be the one to make it for me, or else, it doesn't work.
I think his love is the key ingredient.
Oscar Meyer bologna (plasticy) on white hamburger bun (bleached flour, please), iceberg lettuce, mayo, mustard, craft single (rubbery), and potato chips. Ya, that's right, on there, not next to it, on.
what.
I love it.

and now for the YAY!
I am in love with, overjoyed about in-joy, enjoyed, I'm making a new way to use that word, I am ENJOYED about my new painting!
I have not painted BIG for several months, and that is my favorite way to paint!
I have been painting tiny little works of art to preserve paint and make small affordable paintings. It's been fun and I'll keep making them.
But I started a new painting to add to my Spirit Creature series and it is turning out so great!
I'm pretty sure that I don't paint these Spirit Creatures alone, if you know what I mean.
Their Turtles, Spirit Turtles, and I'll post 'em for you when they're ready for their debut.

Here is another piece from my Spirit Creature Series:



And here's a bologna sandwich, just for fun:



i just thought, I'd let you know.
peace out! (but not if your my credit card company, if your my credit card company, you can f off.)

Sometimes I think that If My Website is a big cold lonely Museum-like Mansion, then Etsy is this bustling Happy Village full of magical creatures.
The Museum Mansion is not a bad place, it just depends on what environment your into for the day, right?

One of the Most Inspiring Moments of My Week.

So the other day I'm standing in line at the post office with one package to mail from an Etsy sale.
And about 4 people ahead of me is this crazy lookin' kid with a trucker hat and big glasses, some hoodie, purple skinny jeans and puffy high top basketball shoes that he had painted neon stripes on.
I was totally checking him out, not like THAT, just diggin' his funny little style and wondering about his day; where he was going what he was mailing.....and then I noticed what he was mailing.
He had a stack of about 15 flat packages.
I got a little happy buzz inside my head and I was like, "That guy is mailing prints of art that he sold on Etsy or Art Fire or something and I bet he's here every other day and can barely keep up with this sales or shipping".
And I was so fond of those neat little packages and I thought, "That's gonna be me.".
Right in that moment I was pretty clear on that.
I'm gonna be that guy.
One of these days I'm gonna be the girl, standing in line at the post office, every other day with a lovely little stack of lovely little paintings all off to their new homes.
The Belle of the Post Office Line Ball.
Yep, That's gonna be me, and I can's wait!



My Lovely Little Stack of Paintings, waiting to be bought, so I can stand in line with them at the post office.

More Birthday Sweetness!

This is part of an email I just got from my baby sister and it tickled me so that I had to share it here:)

"I wish I was there today to tell you face to face how much I love you and how proud of you I am!! I'd give you a ginormous huge flat iron for your hair (cuz we always do hehe) and take you for a piece of ridiculously expensive and delicious cake at the fancy pants cake place. :)"

She has a thing for high quality flat irons and I have pretty NOT flat hair, so she loves to get at me with that thing:)
And the cake she is referencing, if your in Portland, is Papa Hydens.
It's an amazing cake experience, you must go there.
And do wear your Fancy Pants, for sure:)



Another one of our Flat Iron Days.
I love that girl!